Well, I've been having a bit of a problem with some guys in my life, especially because of yesterday...

 

Okay here's the whole story:

This one guy I know, Joey, is a freshman in college. He started talking to me on Facebook last year after me not seeing him for a long time. He and I trained together in Aikido since I was ten, so I've known him for a long time. After talking to him for a while, I came to like him and I think he liked me. He asked me out a few times, and though my parents are strict, my father said I could go most of the times, but he's bailed each time. I didn't really like him when I saw him at the dojo, we never talked or anything! But when he talked to me, I kinda figured he liked me and stuff so I ended up liking him for a bit.

Then came Robert. I've also known him since I was ten-ish because we train together, but in different dojos. I kinda had a little girl crush on him haha and kinda still do =P. He's a year younger, but still cute. Yesterday was my birthday and I went on a snowtubing trip with my family and he came on the trip (it was a trip for us and happened to fall on my birthday). We were on the bus ride home and it was really cold. We had just gone to McDonald's so he let me hold his coffee so I could keep my hands warm. Well, it just so happened that the heater was on his side of the bus, so I told him to let me sit in his seat to get warm. So there we were sitting together listening to music, watching videos, playing games on his iPhone. I had complained that I wanted a pillow to lean on so I could go to sleep, so he gave me one of his sweaters and I told him I wanted to borrow his shoulder. Stuff happens and I end up ditching the sweater and put my head on his shoulder. He moves, saying it was uncomfortable for him, and puts his arm around me and we end up falling asleep like that the rest of the ride home.

 

Here's the problem:

I don't think I like Joey anymore, but I don't know how to tell him. I don't want to lead him on, because I know how that feels and it's definitely no fun. But I have no idea what to say to him!! And as for Robert, I've texted him and stuff, but he doesn't talk as much, so I'm confused as to whether or not he likes me or he was just being friend-ish... Plus I won't get to see him until the next Aikido event, which could be months!

 

I don't know what to do because I've never been in this kind of situation before!! Please help...?

I think lots of advices might be given to you with this situation, but here are somethings to think about:

First, are you in a mutual understanding relationship with Joey?  Like, did you ever tell him that you like him?  If so, did he reply back (like with words).  If you haven't and he hasn't then... its fair game.  Fair game meaning you can actually have a relationship with someone without hurting Joey.

Also, bailing out on a girl is a total no-no.  I would probably be really angry if someone bailed me. 

Or... you can either not commit on any of them, see who you actually like or who likes you more too.  This sounds childish but it may work. 

Hope this helps.

I did tell him I liked him, twice. But apparently it wasn't a big deal. Nothing has happened and we just talk as friends.. I don't know how the whole bus thing happened with Robert, but we just ended up like that. It's so hard determining who is the right one!! I almost cried in frustration last night, it was that bad... -sighh- Thank you for the advice, though, and I'm definitely going to try to stick to it!

You shouldn't stay with someone you don't like anymore. I know it's hard to tell in face, but that's something everyone's gotta do once in a while in their life. You're not the only one. You can't walk around pretending to like Joey. Sooner or later he will notice your lack of interest and then he'll get even more hurt. It's always best to be direct.

And well.. maybe you shouldn't rush into things with that robert. He seems unsure about you. I guess you'll find out if you give him some time. (or jus just tell him "I like you")

It might be so that none of these guys are meant for you. You need someone who you love, who loves you beck AND is there for you. In this case compromising is probably not an option. You totally deserve a guy with all the qualitys your looking for. And that is OK.

I completely understand what you mean... It's just that it's SO hard to tell him because he's told me he's never had a girlfriend before because it's never worked out with him before... I should just tell him, and I definitely will if he starts talking to me again (because for some reason, our conversations on Facebook and texting have just petered out... o.O).

 

 

As for Robert, I have to say I've liked him off and on for the past 7 years. When we were little it was like a little girl crush thing, but over the years we've all grown, making it even more harder to resist! I have to admit that I'm not the most patient type, so it's killing me... TT-TT

 

I officially dislike being a teenager!

I know what you mean :P Life gets o much better after the teenage :P Then you stick with one guy and don't have to think about that for years, haha ^^

Exactly~! My dad told me that now it's just "puppy love" (lol) and he says he's pretty much okay with me dating guys. (My mom, on the other hand, is dead set against it.) And I told him I just want to try things out now so I don't mess up my future as badly... It's so hard though... -__-U

I was in a similar situation as you. And unfortunately, there is no way to not hurt someone :( If you don't like Joey, you have to be straight with him and tell him without hesitation. The longer it lasts, the worse it will get(most likely)

Ehhe that's what I've been doing... He's asked me out again, and I gently denied him. Slowly, I guess we're not talking to each other as much. So far, it's working... ^^U