Ditzydorey101 wrote: I agree with Zeruda i'm afraid. I know It's easier said than done but If you carry on this way he might start to think he can just run back to you when it suits him and you are worth more than that dear! I know that your afraid you might not find someone else but if I were you I wouldn't be concerned with this......it's time to rediscover YOU!!!! Take some time to do the things YOU enjoy, go where YOU want to go etc, go see your friends, get a new hobby etc. If you don't take time for you then the next relationship will just end up as a rebound and you'll end up unhappy. I know you are going through a difficult time but try to see it as your rebirth. *Hugs*

Well said!

I was thinking about your situation a lot, Do-Chan, and I seem to remember you often said you felt you married too young. Even when i first got to know you like two years ago you had doubs about your marrige, you felt locked in and you had a dream of feeling loved again. I also remember a canadian(?) guy you were twittering about.

I belive you might hate your current unstable situation with moving, divorce papers, unemplyment, coming home to you dad and everything, fully understanadble. But maybe the only thing you really miss is a stable situation, not him. Becasue when you were with him there didin't seem like there were much love. And you want love. Going back won't give you love.

I know you don't belive in divorce. But i think you should see this as a huge opportunity. You got away from a situation that wastn't even good in the first place. A situation you didn't enjoyed. Your hated you inlaws, they drove you crazy. Not to mention you economical situation wasn't good either. Now you can start all over. This is a fresh new start. You just need to capture it. Wear the bob wig you wanted to wear but your husband wouldn't let you. You can be you without any restrictions. You are in control of your own life. And you can choose to hang around only people you like, you don't have to stand people you dislike and you definitely dont have to live with them! Find a job instead of depening on others to feed you, get an apartment an share it with a nice girl friend and live your life. Meet somone new. Try something new. Frame your paint by numbers on the wall and wake up knowing you have things you love to do and feel good at too. Remove the things that makes you sad.

I'm sure you can do it. You just have to be strong a little longer and use your last bit of energy to get a job that will give you a real stable income. When you have that, the rest will be a piece of cake.

Oh, Do-chan, I had no idea. :( No wonder I haven´t seen you online.

Personally, I agree with Zeruda, you should let him go. I have lived this situation as well, though not as extreme, since I wasn´t marrried. I have only had one boyfriend in my life, we had a long relationship, and two years ago, he broke up with me for the same reason--he said he wasn´t "in love" with me anymore, he "just loved" me. I still loved him was still in love with him, so it hurt so much and my emotions were all over the place for a while. As the first person I had fallen in love with, I invested a lot in that relationship, and it seemed like in the end, it was all for nothing.

But you know what? After a while, I discovered that life goes on, no matter how much you want to hit the pause button. That there are other things that  happen, that you are an independent  woman apart from your husband. I agree with Zeruda, "Meet somone new. Try something new. Frame your paint by numbers on the
wall and wake up knowing you have things you love to do and feel good at
too. Remove the things that makes you sad." Keeping your mind on those things will make you start to look into the future instead of into the past. And most of all, remember that you always have friends with whom to talk when you are feeling down. Friends who will tell you you can do it and go on, and when the time finally comes and you´re feeling ready, laugh with you and say "He wasn´t worth it, you deserve so much better--let´s look for another, better, guy!" 

*BIG HUG* I wish I could give it to you in person. :( But you´ll see, you´re strong, you can do this!

In all honesty, I feel as though people can give as much advice to a person as they want, but that person is still going to do what they want to do. What do you want to do Do-chan?

Make a list of pros and cons to this marriage. I know that this sorta makes it seem like it's something simple, but this actually works. Then you should also make a list of the things that you have always wanted to do but couldn't, because of your husband. You may not like the choice that you have made,but the thing is to remember that you are going to have to live with this decision for the rest of your life.

I have always felt as though I was meant to be single, and somtimes I still do even though I've been in a relationnship for 2 years now. I think, I'm too selfish, but he's been helpin me "see the error of my ways". What's your reason? It's okay to admit your faults, but when some one else is bringing you down because of it, instead of helping you fix them. there 's a problem.

Your partner is suppose to be "the ying to your yang" If you all aren't helping each other to be better people through love and support, then it may just be time to move on.

thanks for all of the advice and support! it's nice to feel accepted :) my husband and i are still 'friends' so that's gonna take some time to get use to since we technically werent friends before we started dating heh...i know right now i dont want another relationship....i want to flirt but nothing more lol....still not sure if i should wait for him tho....i kinda feel that i'd be wasting my time...

Zeruda- yea i did talk about a Canadian,,,sadly tho he couldnt wait for me to leave my husband and is now in a happy relationship which i'm happy about,,,,seeing that he's happy makes me happy ;)

Do-Chan wrote: thanks for all of the advice and support! it's nice to feel accepted :) my husband and i are still 'friends' so that's gonna take some time to get use to since we technically werent friends before we started dating heh...i know right now i dont want another relationship....i want to flirt but nothing more lol....still not sure if i should wait for him tho....i kinda feel that i'd be wasting my time... Zeruda- yea i did talk about a Canadian,,,sadly tho he couldnt wait for me to leave my husband and is now in a happy relationship which i'm happy about,,,,seeing that he's happy makes me happy ;)

I can only talk from my own experiences. But I waited for somone too once. I waited one year, I waited two years, I waited three years. My mad love for him never faded. I tried be with other guys to get over him and move on, but still all I could think of was him. And after five-six years i realized I still waited for him. But we will never be. He never loved me back the way I always wished he would. So yea, waiting is a waste of time. Your relationship won't heal by itself just because you wait...

If he is willing to try to make it work with you go ahead and try, but if he's not going to put forth the effort then its time to go find some one who actually deserves you. It will hurt becuase you still love him, but it would hurt worse to let him keep stringing you along. I let a bad relationship go on for way to long because I "loved" him and all I got in return was abuse. Now I'm with a man who truely loves me.
I'm not in your shoes, if you see something that is salvagable then go for it, the choice is up to you.

Get out while there are no children is all I can say. You really need to be stable and happy on your own or all you are going to find in a relationship is someone who can take advantage of you.

Wishing you all the best. I hope whatever choice you make works out for you.