So heres the thing...

My bf i obsessed with me not talking to other guys, hes very insecure i'm guessing.   He thinks that every guy i talk to is flirting with me, (wtf o.o).

But i'm not interested in other guys, i just want him..he might no be perfect but i love him just the way he is.

Is it okay to chat to people of the opposite sex?

I want to hear your opinions on the matter :) xx

 

Uguu, I was in the same situation for a long time. But I did the same to him, I was really insecure about him talking to other girls which made it really difficult because he only has friends that are girls TT___TT but I think, you just need him to trust you completely :D show him that you just want to be friends with these guys. However you also have to bear in mind that your boyfriend is going to be a little upset and confused as to why you want to talk to other guys, just make sure he doesn't feel left out and always let him know that it's him you love, no one else.

 

You are allowed to talk to guys, in fact I find that guys are more fun to hang out with than girls (but that is just my opinion) And it's good to be friends with people of the opposite sex to help you understand more about them.

 

Like I said though yamma, :D just make sure your boyfriend knows that there is nothing to worry about, make sure he knows about these guys you talk to, make sure that he feels secure and he'll be happy :D xx

MitsuMallow wrote: Uguu, I was in the same situation for a long time. But I did the same to him, I was really insecure about him talking to other girls which made it really difficult because he only has friends that are girls TT___TT but I think, you just need him to trust you completely :D show him that you just want to be friends with these guys. However you also have to bear in mind that your boyfriend is going to be a little upset and confused as to why you want to talk to other guys, just make sure he doesn't feel left out and always let him know that it's him you love, no one else.   You are allowed to talk to guys, in fact I find that guys are more fun to hang out with than girls (but that is just my opinion) And it's good to be friends with people of the opposite sex to help you understand more about them.   Like I said though yamma, :D just make sure your boyfriend knows that there is nothing to worry about, make sure he knows about these guys you talk to, make sure that he feels secure and he'll be happy :D xx

 

I feel the same, i can talk to guys more than girls. :)

i try to tell him that everyday but he just shuts down and shouts at me, i really dont know what to do.  i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, its very annoying.  i dont want our relationship to end but i dont want to be left without anyone, i alreaddy feel very lonely because this has pushed all my friends away :/

but i really dont know how to tell him how i feel.

 

Thankyou so much for your advice, i'm going to try and speak to him i just need to start speaking up a little but more.  xx

You are welcome sweetie, and if you need any help the girls of MAF are always here :D I hope it'll get sorted out for you though dear xxx

Hey i think you should have male friends other then girls if he loves you he should trust you at all times no matter what situation.

@mitsumallow:  Thankyou, thats very kind :)

 

@Lego-san:  Yeah i totally agree, i shouldn't have to explain myself he should trust me no matter what :)

I am kind of a tom boy (other then the pretty fashion thing) so I mostly hang out with guys. If I had a boyfriend who was jealous of other guys I'd essentially be cut off from the rest of the world.
Trying to control who you are talking to is bad news, it's actually a form of abuse. I really believe that people need to be secure with themselves before they get into a relationship.
You need to really ask yourself if this person is something good in your life or something bad. Though they may be something good aside from this issue it'd be very easy to find someone who will be good to you AND not try and control you (not to sound harsh or anything).
We're here for you dolly~ *hugs*

Eevee wrote: I am kind of a tom boy (other then the pretty fashion thing) so I mostly hang out with guys. If I had a boyfriend who was jealous of other guys I'd essentially be cut off from the rest of the world. Trying to control who you are talking to is bad news, it's actually a form of abuse. I really believe that people need to be secure with themselves before they get into a relationship. You need to really ask yourself if this person is something good in your life or something bad. Though they may be something good aside from this issue it'd be very easy to find someone who will be good to you AND not try and control you (not to sound harsh or anything). We're here for you dolly~ *hugs*

 

i dont think thats harsh atall, i totally agree.  It is controlling and tbh its ruining me.  i've spoke to him about it today after i spoke to all you lovely people and he says that "somtimes he feels i speak to other people more than him"  but that a complete lie becaue he stays with me and i spend nearly everyday with him, i don't undersand its all very confusing :P

and thankyou so much i'm so glad i can speak to you guys without feeling like a tube  :)

Eevee wrote: I am kind of a tom boy (other then the pretty fashion thing) so I mostly hang out with guys. If I had a boyfriend who was jealous of other guys I'd essentially be cut off from the rest of the world. Trying to control who you are talking to is bad news, it's actually a form of abuse. I really believe that people need to be secure with themselves before they get into a relationship. You need to really ask yourself if this person is something good in your life or something bad. Though they may be something good aside from this issue it'd be very easy to find someone who will be good to you AND not try and control you (not to sound harsh or anything). We're here for you dolly~ *hugs*

Eevee, well stated and very gently so.  +1 on the controlling your friends being bad news.  My best friend just got out of a relationship that was very similar and she had a really hard time coming to terms with the way she was treated and the way she behaved when she was with him. 

You need to be careful because there is a lot at stake.  You could lose a lot more than just this 1 boyfriend.  You could make your friends angry at you, you could lose your freedom to go out and do what you want with who you want WHEN you want, you could lose your respect for yourself.  And even if you do decide to give up everything to stay with him, you could end up hating him for it in the end and lose him anyway.

I also don't want to sound harsh or depressing, but I would never want to see this happen to you after hearing my best friend talk about her experience with her ex-boyfriend.

 Also, I can tell you how it feels to BE the friend of someone who's boyfriend is controlling.  All I wanted was to spend time with my best friend, but every time I did her boyfriend would get angry at her.  Which made me feel really bad, but also really angry because I have every right to spend time with my best friend of 10 years. 

P.S. My best friend and I are both girls, but her boyfriend found me just as threatening as he found her male friends. ;_;


In my honest opinion, anyone who loved you and wanted you to be happy would never deny you your friends.  And anyone who loved you would never hurt you by showing you every day that they don't trust.


I'm not trying to say that these things WILL happen to you, or yoursituation is exactly the same, or you MUST break up with this guy.  Ijust want to offer my own experience with it to try and help youexamine your relationship, weigh your options, and make your decisionusing both your heart and your head.
I truly wish you the best of luck!  I hope my post is helpful, I'm sorry to be so harsh, I just feel so strongly about this topic! ;_;

I can tell you straight off the bat that it's going to get more difficult down the road if he doesn't want you to talk to any guys.
Though, I can understand where he's coming from.
It's not that he doesn't trust you, it's that he doesn't trust other guys.
Most men in this situation are under the impression that another guy might come in and steal your heart away, or perhaps force there self onto you. He's just scared of losing you.

Though it looks like you already talked to him about it, and it appears that he just wants more attention. Although that can be a pain, it doesn't hurt to go that extra mile you show that you love him.

@naminda:  i really do feel for you and your friend, what a horrible thing for you both to go through :/ *hug*

He's like that too, i was best friends with a girl a she was a bit o a *beep* o me somtimes.  andi know he means well but he totally banned me from speaking to her.  Just last week i got back in contact with her again and he phoned me whn i was with her and asked me where i was.  i don't lie so i told him the truth, and he went crazy and told me if i didnt come home he was breaking up with me...

at first i just thought 'no.  you are not telling me what to do.'  But then i jut cavd in and walked home.  i know she wasnt the best person to hang arond with, but i was sooo lonely and i just wanted a friend to speak to :/

so yeah, i dont kow what to do cause on one hand i really love him and on the other i really dont want to feel like this anymore.  ima weigh up my options like yo said and really think carefully about this, i dnt want to make the wrong decision.

 

 

thankyou so much for sharing your experience, and helping me :) soo appreciated