(first off if i posted in the wrong spot. i'm sorry. I'll delete it if you tell me)
As i am sure most people know. When you dress in any style of "unusual" fashion you risk getting hurtful comments and made fun of. How do most of you handle the rude comments? As you may or may not know I love Visual Kei and Vk inspired things. I say by far the most insulting comments I have received are basically based around my race. I'm primarily African-American. And I seem to always run into those types of people that don't believe that a black person can be anything but ghetto and ignorant. It becomes very annoying.  aside from that, I realize VK style makeup and hairstyles can sometimes be a bit too much. But I doubt it requires a response as "you look like a drugged up ugly whore" (excuse my language). I don't have much confidence in myself as it is and I take peoples comments to heart when I know I really shouldn't. I still refuse to give up on what I like so I deal with the remarks by keeping silent and trying not to say anything rude back at the person.
I suppose my question is: how do you deal with rude people that mock you? What ways do you tell them to get off your back and that you just don't want to follow the rest of them?

Maybe start a thread on ways to combat these people and beat them at their own game. Or at least give them a bad feeling for mocking you?

Honestly all in all I wish that people would be more excepting and not so rude. But it can not be helped. I'd at least like a way to boost confidence and make these people feel a little bad for the way they speak to those who dare to be different.

I used to have lolita and visual k friends at school and whenever they got made fun of I would scare the person off by changing my sweet demeanor into a scary one by cursing or making fun of them so they see what its like (even though some were football playing jocks) .

True scaring the person works but I tend to go to school with more violent types. So they might try and fight for me for it. I wouldn't want to get blood on my clothes that cost more than a few dollars.
Did the scaring always work though to get people to leave you alone?

sadly im the only lolita in my college

they arent too kind those at my school as they're always sneering and commenting on how stupid i look

however the biggest blow to my confidence was when i was explaining my style to my environment teacher

the moment i said it was called lolita she immediately referred to that horrid book called lolita by that vladimer person and tried to accuse me of trying to dress like a prostitute i was crying for ages after that and didnt wear any of my lolita for the next week

 

however i am now more proud than ever of my wardrobe

I wear alot of punk/ goth clothing, I get called a freak alot (and worse), my biggest thing is I just kill them with kindness. "Normal" people don't expect goths to be nice it really just confuses them.

 

 

@ Reita-Lequin
"I get all kinds of insults and bad names Im the schools "Japanigga" (sorry for that) but most of them are just talkers."
 For this statement I would think for me would be fighting words. I haven't heard anyone say this to me yet. But i doubt i'd be able to take that gracefully. As far as having a dark skin tone I try and only pick colors that I think look good on my face. I try to match but bright colorful makeup styles don't look the best on me at all...I just wish people would be more constructive with their words.
I try and make friends that are of all types. Because at my school i'm around those sterotipical "ghetto" black people as well. They actually all hate me because I choose a different fashion style. A lot of the teachers end up acting crazy over the fashion choices and we become insulted and laughed at by them. But they won't say any to those girls that walk around with their behinds hanging out of their mini-skirts and fat hanging over the edges of their pants.
I ignore them and continue my own thing. But after a while it builds up and you just want it all to end.
Also about your school those statements aren't right to say regaurdless. infact your anyone who makes statements like that about students could and should be removed from a learning enviroment. That is no way to speak to students of a school let alone another human being

@shonekonyan
I hate when things like that happen you are the only one and it's just that much harder to deal with. That book lolita i hear about it all the time. And people just don't know when NOT to judge best on previous encounters. I'm glad you are proud of being lolita. Because in many ways i think Lolita need more self confidence because of the excess of negative connotations about them
@ Kemeah I never understood why goths couldn't be nice. I know some aren't but that's only because of insults like the freak and worse. It just gets old.

@darknessvisual

I know what you mean about getting teased for not fitting in. Even though I did not dress in an extreme way in highschool, I was teased for having different intrests then everybody else. I have never been a follower and always did my own thing, but a lot of kids tend to think that that's weird because they don't have the confidence to do what they want to do and not care what anybody else says. I was even called an ugly witch by someone in middle school (we were like 12 years old at the time!). I really didn't have a lot of self confidence and I just tried to ignore them, because mostly the guys teased me and I was afraid they might hurt me if I said something. The thing you have to do is go and find someone in your school or outside your school who you can trust and tell them that you feel that you are being bullied for the way you look. Talking to other people usually helps a lot. There are also a lot of free courses in how to defend yourself against bullies, you should try to look one up and attend them. It will definetly help to know how to handle bullies if you learned this from a profesional. Most of the time talking back helps, but if you feel threatened it could be good for you to maybe learn some basic martial arts so you know how to defent yourself. This will definetly make you feel more comfortable, knowing that you know what to do when someone attacks you. Once again this can be learned in one of those anti-bullying courses. I sugjest you look into that. However, this is just my advise, you don't have to follow it if you don't want to . Good luck!

thought dressed 'odd' from 13 i think you have to be prepared for the fact that people are going to say things, it comes ith the package, western and eastern culture are so different in whats acceptable. Ive grown up with friends been beaten up cause they look strange and that and as ive got older its got better, and more scary looking aparently.lol

 

I go to alternative sorts of places to go out, but genral comments i think its best to ignore because these people are never going to be educated in the ways of how you think, and have a narrow perpsective on what beauty is. But what is refreshing and inspiring is to see people demonstrate other fashion and beauty other than the sterotypical, and i think remembering this, will make nasty comments etc seem like nothing and wont knock you at all. I have answered these people back when appropriate but there isnt any point in justifying why your wearing this because you shouldnt have to and its not like they will get it, cause they're stupid. Just consider yourself lucky that you've got a creative imagination and your not them and will amount to so much more because of your frame of mind is in a better place than theirs :)

 

 

This is a very interesting subject. We had a similar discussion about this before, you can read here if you are interested. http://www.myasianfashion.com/forums/display_topic/id_696/How-to-handle-creepy-stalkers/

I am a full time lolita and rude people is my everyday unfortunately. It's ruin my mood so much I don't enjoy wearing lolita when i go out anymore. It's very clear that this only gets worse for every day. When i first started to wear lolita some years ago people were much nicer. I don't really know what happened. I think my own attitude changed, so it's part my fault.

If you are super confident and happy these people will have no room to hurt you. In fact, they will be so stunned by your charisma they won't be able to speak. If you however like me turned into something vunerable people will pick up on that and they will show you they have noticed your weak spot. I promise you, this is the key to success. (but I know, it's really hard to keep you head high and stay proud when people break through the barrier).